Annie
Annie: Drug Addicted to Escape Life
It seems like only yesterday, but it was so many years ago. I was the youngest of 5 children. Mom and dad both worked. So, my brothers and sisters supervised me most of the time when my parents were away from home. We were surrounded by extended family since this was my parents home town. I had a simple, average life in America in the 1970’s.
In the early 1980’s my family moved to a larger town in another part of the country. My life changed fast. I was not yet a teen, but most of my friends were teenagers. This is when I started to ‘party’. I began drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, fighting, and experimenting with illegal drugs. My parents worked the night shift most of the time. So, the kids in our family were often left home alone at night.
In the mid 1980’s, our family moved back to our parents’ home town. Soon things turned for the worse for me. I found friends who did the same kinds of things my old friends did, only now I was stealing too. My parents found out I was doing things I really shouldn’t be, but they still were not even close to knowing everything I was doing. You see, my parents were alcoholics themselves. How could two addicts help another addict to change?
I got married shortly after my 18th birthday. My life did not change much. Some years later, we were going to have a baby. During my pregnancy, I began having nightmares. I felt the nightmares came from real events that happened to me when I was a child. My husband was the only one I told about my suspicions. After the death of my father, I confronted my abuser. He did not deny anything. He did not even say a word to me. I went on with my life. My drinking, smoking, and drug use became worse. Our marriage relationship had always been troubled. Then it fell apart, and we divorced. At this point, life for me and my children spiraled out of control.
About this time, we met a very different group of people from what we were used to. One day a couple knocked on our apartment door asking if the children would like to ride on a bus to church each Sunday. This couple became my friends. They helped me to realize over time that my addictions were just a way to escape from the realities of the life I was living.
My life came to a climax one eventful Friday. After sending my children off to school, I called the home of the church bus captain. His wife brought me over to their house where I spent the day. This was the hardest day of my life. I was going through drug withdrawal, and the events of my life were playing over and over again in my mind. I was ashamed, scared, angry, and lost. Her husband came home from work after he picked up my children from school. That was the day I quit. I quit drinking alcohol, using illegal drugs, and I quit trying to kill myself. Yes, that was what I was really trying to do. What started as a way to ‘hide’ from life, turned into trying to ‘run’ from life, permanently.
My life started over again at this point. I began to ride that bus to church with my kids. I learned about a pure, true love that will never stop, and never change. That love comes from a friend that will always be there. I stopped running from life’s circumstances, and began walking a path that brought my ex-husband back into our home. We remarried and had another child.
Now I look back at my life; and what I was ashamed of , scared of, angry at, I now see as lessons. They were hard lessons, yes, but these hard lessons were the result of bad choices I made that could have ended my life.
That friend I was learning about, well, he saved my life. He was there with me every step of the way. I never saw him, never heard him, but he heard me, saw me, and loved me. That friend was Jesus. He took the agony of withdrawals away from me. He held me in the days I just wanted to give up. He gave me life when all I wanted was death. He gave me hope in the days of despair. He gave me back my children, my husband, and my life. He gave all this to me, and all I had to do is give him my life. There is no better trade anywhere, and no better gift.
